Just plain YUCK!

Lately, I have been feeling very sluggish (=lazy), fatigued (=don't want to get out of bed - which could relate back to the laziness!), and just plain BLAH! I am fatter than ever, it is affecting how I feel about myself, and how I interact with others (mainly, my darling husband). I feel insecure, and I am constantly worrying about how people are perceiving me ("Oh my, has she let herself go since getting hitched...") - which, I am well aware that I shouldn't care about what others think, but let's face it, we all do it - not all can admit it though!

Yes, I know what your thinking "We know where you're going here, and you always say the same thing..." But this time, I swear, I am serious about kicking it into high gear! I have already begun making small changes in my lifestyle that will be healthier in the end. Changing up the foods I eat, and the stuff I put into my body. It is hard to control, but once I vowed to make the changes, and understand that everyday is not perfect, as I have to develop these habits, not just jump into them - I know that I can do this, I can make healthy changes for myself and my body, and I will start to fee better about myself in time. (This seemed like a better idea than trying to develop an eating disorder! ;-)

SIDE NOTE: No, I have not addressed the big 'S' yet, but come 'on, everyone needs a crutch sometimes! (seriously though, that is a whole 'nother issue that needs to be dealt with on a one on one basis - one that I am not up to tackling just yet, but in time... I will have the strength to kick it up for good).

Right now, I am trying to figure out what really makes me hungry - I used to think it was because I just loved food so much, but I really think it is so much more. Is it emotional eating? I don't know? But with some research on the topic, and research of myself, I think I can pin-point it. I hate to say I am on this journey myself, as I have my husbands support, and hopefully he will join me on this life changing journey (how corny does that sound?!) - but for right now, I am doing it for me. However, I have been sneaking tons of fruits, veggies, yogurts, fat free stuff into the house, and he is eating it - so basically, my feeling is that he will not have a choice but to join me.

I started a vitamin regimen this past week as well. A multivitamin, some fiber, and a vitamin that is supposed to help "awaken my inner native woman" if you get my drift. Also started a whole body cleanse - or detox, if you will - more on that at a later time.

Basically, I am like an alcoholic right now, just one day at a time (which really is great advise for something like this, as you cannot obsess over what you're doing, you just have to do it).

So until next time...

(I am in no way making light of eating disorder's or alcoholism, as they are serious diseases that people deal with all over the world. If you are struggling, or know someone who is struggling with addiction, please call 1.800.662.HELP)