My opinion on my choices and something about kids

I love the holidays and seeing everyone and all that fun stuff...

Until the "kids" question starts being thrown around.

No, we do not have kids. I won't even add "yet" to the end of that sentence because to be quite honest, I don't know if we will have kids. Yes, we realize we not getting any younger. Yes, we realize there is never a "good" time, so we shouldn't wait. No, I don't care what your opinion is on my/our decisions regarding our family planning (or lack there of). To me, this is personal, and while I know J and I would made absolutely gorgeous little monkeys, again, it is no one's business but ours.*

I thought it appropriate at this time to address What parents should not say to non-parents (Link), or as I like to refer to myself, decidedly childless.

1. "Dogs are not kids."
Good thing they didn't say Cats, or I really would take offense to this statement.  My cats are my furbabies and I really don't care that you don't like them, and that you don't like me comparing them to your kid. Hey, how about you try to understand that while you are chatting away endlessly about your adorable kid - I am trying to think of a way to even remotely relate to caring for a small alive thing.  No, I don't think your kid and my cat are the same, but cut me some slack, these may well be the only grandchildren/nieces/nephews you have from us.  You don't have to like it, but I would ask that you respect it (as I have with your decision to ramble on about the color and smell of the last poop-plosion that occurred earlier that day).

2. "You think you're [insert anything here]? Try having kids!"
No. Just No.  It's all relative, and I am not in a competition with anyone. In the spirit of the holidays, I will ask you to kindly not one up me with your stories of difficult times, etc.  We all have our crosses, and would having children make mine a touch heavier (all the while lighting up my life like a supersonic star), sure. And I refer you to paragraph one. We all make our choices.

3. "Don't worry, when you have kids you'll..."
"Indicating to these people that having kids is the only way they will reach some higher level of understanding is both inconsiderate and rude."  Yes. Don't be presumptuous and rude during the holidays (or ever, really). 

4. "Is the party kid-friendly?"
I can not speak for everyone, but chances are if it is my party, no. Please leave little one's at home. This does not mean I don't like your kid, or don't want to see them - but if I am having a party and you are invited, it means I want to see you and catch up. You focus is pulled when your kid is running around (rightly so), sometimes I just (selfishly) want to see you - my friend/sister/cousin/brother/etc, not the mom/dad of so and so junior.

I also understand there are times when you are not able to get out without the kids, and if it means not coming over because of the kids - by all means, bring the little rug rats.  Just remember to let me know beforehand - and always keep one eye on them, my house is not baby/child proofed and my furbabies don't like to be kid-handled.

5. "My life didn't have meaning before I had kids!"
Yikes.  I am sure having kids is life changing (I love my nieces and nephews with every single part of my being, so much sometimes, it hurts) but that statement above makes me kinda sad. I realize there are people out there that live to have kids, more power to ya! But this statement is sad to me because really - are you saying nothing meant anything to you before the kids.  Your poor spouse, family, friends, co-workers.  And thank goodness I'm not being overly sensitive today, because when you say this, you are also unconsciously saying that by me not having kids, my life is meaningless.

I get it - you are super proud and happy and want everyone to share in that with you. I can't speak for all childless couples out there, but I am all of those things for you. And all I am asking is that you remember that just because this is what your life path was, it may not be mine. I will (always) ask about your kids, I will (always) play around with the kids, and I might even correct them a time or two (that's when you know I really like them), so don't take any offense to any of this - but try to be mindful of these things when there are people around without kids. I like to think I give you the same respect and keep my crazy cat lady stories, and eye rolls to a minimum.

End semi-holiday rant.  

Disclaimers:
*(am I making it people's business by posting publicly, no... I am just venting and getting it all out in order to avoid a wine fueled  rant in the middle of a really nice holiday season.)
*I did not write this about any one person - but if you are recognizing yourself in the statements, I hope you take this for what it is worth - just a rant by a girl that is trying to figure out what her next family steps are and enjoying childless life in the meantime.  Translation - don't get all offended, I like most of your kids. 

Completely Relatable

I'm bigger than everyone in my Yoga class too... 

And I know how hard it is to get down on yourself because of a pair of jeans (this past weekend, and a pair was actually 4 pairs till I found a pair to fit), or let your confidence in a pose plummet because your stomach gets in the way (bend your knees and step forward to a long lunge/the top of your mat among many others).

I go to yoga to get that one hour to myself, and to work on me from the inside out. I am super lucky I get this one hour a week for me. I never want to spend that hour (or the time after ...) feeling bad/losing confidence in myself. This defeats the entire purpose for me.  While my ass isn't bigger from crossfit, but from quite the opposite (lack of running and eating like I am 15 again) I relate to this post.  I already have the stigma of being the "bigger girl" in class, and whether anyone else notices or not, it is something I try to work through weekly so I most certainly don't need any other negative thoughts weaseling their way into my practice.  

The universe gives you what you need, when you need it and this was a great reminder for me.   

Pattabhi Jois sums it up in reminding us, “Yoga is an internal practice; the rest is just a circus.” So whether you are a size 2 or a size 16, the real practice is inside of you—in learning to accept yourself unconditionally, and choosing to love and honor yourself, no matter what size jeans you find yourself in.

Just what I needed.

It's all mine

I often have to remind myself that I am on my OWN journey. I need to stop comparing/competing with others-they too are on their own journey.

— melahaze (@melahaze) September 23, 2013

Wise words back in September that still apply (and will always apply)!

When did it get to be November?

I mean, am I right?!  They say time flies when you're having fun - but my mom also says that times flies the older you get. I guess I've been having so much fun, I didn't realize I was getting old in the process. November is a super month for me, it is my birth month, it's the heart of football season and the month for Thanksgiving - the holiday that kicks off the holiday season. Most people use New Year's to reflect and make changes for themselves and others - I use my birthday. Year after year, I have promised myself that this would be my year. And don't get me wrong, every year gets better and better, but every year, something happens and I find myself making the same promises as the previous year.  That promise - to get healthy and make lifestyle changes that will help me get more fit and finally lose those pesky pounds that are holding me back (atleast in my mind). This year is no different.  But this year, I am going to do it. I have some exciting things planned to start off my 33rd year!

I decided to try out the 24 Day Advocare Challenge. I am currently on day 8 and I can honestly say that I really don't feel too much of a difference (am I supposed to?). I am in the cleanse phase, and it is pretty easy to follow and not like any other cleanses (if ya know what I mean).  I did some before pics and took my measurements, and will update when I am done with the full 24 days. While I don't mind the supplements, I am not a fan of meal replacements and that is what I am facing for 14 days of breakfasts in the next phase.  I like real food for my meals - but in the spirit of following along and giving the challenge a fair shot, I am going to follow the program as provided.

I am supposed to get 30 minutes of activity in daily. I have not been so good at hitting that goal, but started back today with an arm/core workout. I need to get better at this overall.  But like I said, I will do a full review once I am done with the 24 days.

I am truly blessed in my life, and I know that. There is not much in my life that I can complain about, my life is really good. But I need to get my shit in gear and start focusing on me and making better choices for my health.

Here's to another great year, it'll be November 2014 before we know it!

*Full disclosure - I signed up to be an Advocare distributor in order to get the discount on the challenge bundle and supplemental vitamins.  I am not soliciting for customers, or trying to sell anyone anything. Although if anyone is interested, I am happy to help.  

Sometimes there are knots

I have had a knot in one of my most favorite necklaces for the longest time (I'm guessing atleast over a year).  The knot formed way back when (because I can't have new things) and I have struggled to fix it, and than forgot about over and over.  I finally just gave up and thought I would have to live with the knot (because apparently I cannot have nice things either). 

I wear my necklace everyday and even after I gave up on the knot, I would notice it and think, "I'm going to work on that knot when I get home/get some free time/this weekend."  I never did - it would get put on the back burner and that's where it would stay.  It bothered me that it was there, but clearly, I wasn't that invested in trying to un-knot it. 

Today, I un-knotted my necklace.  And to say that gave me sense of relief and accomplishment is an understatement.  I fixed the knot. 

And now, I can only move forward and be extra aware of what caused the knot in the first place. 

Funny story, huh? 

Sometimes you read something...

And for some hormonal infused unknown reason, it really gets to you while reading that you are reduced to tears at your desk because it just hits home right at that moment. I'm not saying this happened to me this morning over a hot cup of coffee, but if it did, this would have been the article to do it.

How to Get Flat Abs, Have Amazing Sex and Rule the World in 8 Easy Steps by Kate Bartolotta

Now that you are back, you're probably thinking, "WTH - she's gone bat shit crazy to be crying over this, I mean really."  Stick with me for a moment, I promise I haven't got on the crazy train just yet.  As I somewhat mentioned earlier, I am a hormonal/emotional wreck today.  (I'm about a week and a half out from my monthly gift from mother nature, and according to J - I get goofy. This could explain the partial boarding of the crazy train).

Anyway, this article resonated with me and I wanted to share my favorite parts (without cutting and pasting the entire thing here).

"If you can read this, your life is pretty awesome."

So basic yet something I often take for granted. Truth be told, my life really is pretty awesome, and I really need to start reminding myself of this on the regular.

"Life might bump and bruise us, it may not always go the way we plan and I know I get frustrated with mine, but here's the thing: You are alive."

Yes, yes I am.

"We are all insecure 14 year olds at heart. We're all scared. We all have dreams inside of us that we've tucked away because somewhere along the line we tacked on those ideas about who we are that buried that essential brilliant, childlike sense of wonder ... Let it go. Be who you are beneath the bullshit."

And really, isn't most of it bullshit. 

"Be happy now... we can choose to appreciate what is in our lives instead of being angry or regretful about what we lack. It's a small, significant shift in perspective... We can choose to let the beautiful parts set the tone."

That's the great thing about choice - WE can choose to be one way or another.  I choose sunshine, glitter, (cats) and unicorns.

"Look at the stars... It helps you remember that you and your problems are both infinitesimally small and conversely, that you are a piece of an amazing and vast universe." 

Perspective people, perspective. 

"Tell people that you trust when you need help, or you're depressed -- or you're happy and you want to share it with them... Go all in -- it's worth it."

I can make friends with anyone, really, ask J. He teases me all the time about it everywhere we go.  However, I don't always truly trust/open up, clear away all the bullshit and go all in (mostly because I don't let myself, partly because I don't want my new friend(s) to think I am a stage 5 clinger with major oversharing issues). It is hard for me to ask for help, or just sit and talk about me. 

"Stop with the crazy making... Life is full of obstacles; we don't need to create extra ones."

I create my own drama. I have been trying to be mindful of this and really looking at what I perceive as crazy relative to what really is crazy - and most times, it is my mind blowing things way out of proportion. 

"Learn to apologize. The ability to sincerely apologize -- without ever interjecting the word "but"... It's an important practice."

Sincere apologies don't come easy to me, as most times I am stuck inside myself (I am the universe...) that I don't think I did anything wrong. But real, no bullshit apologies provide a great sense of relief and hopefully a renewed sense of friendship/love that will carry forward to patch up the foundation.

"Practice gratitude. Practice it out loud to the people around you. Practice it silently when you bless your food. Practice it often. Gratitude is the most basic way to connect with that sense of being an integral part of the vastness of the universe..."

Be thankful.  After all, your alive and your life is awesome - gratitude should beam through us every day. 

"Be kind. Kindness costs us nothing and pays exponential dividends. If the biggest thing we do in life is to extend love and kindness to even one other human being, we have changed the world for the better."

Kindness is contagious, so pass it on everyday.  Again, so basic, yet I often find myself caught up in myself and my busy, busy life that even something so basic and easy is overlooked.  We should never be too busy to be kind to one another. 

This post is a reflection on myself.  However, if I was writing for the audience, I might encourage many people that are very close to me to read this, digest it and see how it affects their lives in a way to help them to start making little changes and realizing that we are just a speck of dust in the wind and not the entire universe. We are not the universe, and nothing revolves around us.  We all struggle - but we are the only ones that can take a look at ourselves and start making choices as to how we want to live and act.  

I will always choose rainbows, glitter and unicorns. 
You just might have to remind me of that some days.

Source

Excuses are my Excuse

Monday started my 6 Week challenge of moving everyday. I decided to try this as a way to start adding strength and (continuing) yoga into my weekly run schedules.  Also, we all know I need to focus on hitting my runs so I can run my second 1/2 marathon (still undecided which one).  

I know I need to buckle down, and hopefully drop a couple of pounds in the process. Clearly, if I am rocking my yoga and runs (ha!) at my current weight - they can only get better if I am a bit lighter... Right?!

I have been hitting my workouts for the most part (yes, I realize it is only Weds.) - until this AM.  I set my alarm for 6:00am as I knew I would not be able to workout on lunch - so I figured I would get a quick strength session and a quick run in before work.  Ya know what I did?  I laid in bed and hit snooze for the next 2 hours convincing myself that I needed a rest day after Monday and Tuesday.  And if I pushed myself too far today - I would probably end up injured. Yep... that's it folks.  

The excuses that I can come up with sometimes amaze me!  

The good news is that I can still get that session in this evening, minus the run as I have a long run scheduled tomorrow.  

Do you ever catch yourself making excuses to miss a workout/not get out of bed/completely pig out?  

-it is clearly something I need to work on.